this article first ran in the New Vision of Friday 20th May, 2022
Musician Sheebah Karungi is not the first female to go public with claims of sexual harassment, nor will she be the last. It is happening with a regularity that really should be alarming, but the general public reaction is usually the same – some support, especially from fellow women; and then denial and rejection largely by men.
Last week Sheebah released a video on social media in which she described being harassed by a ‘powerful’ man in her car. In the video she calls on men to respect women’s bodies, and treat them like their own daughters.
Since Sheebah did not name the perpetrator, speculation as to who he might be went into orbit. Gossip pages threw out names almost every hour, who was it?
All that speculation is academic now, because according to the police, Sheebah finally made a statement in which she identified the man she accuses of harassing her. The identity of the man is not the point here, it could be anybody. What we should really worry about is the reaction to the accusation itself, which sadly is actually typical.
Initial reaction, mostly from men, is that the accuser is lying, and that the accused is the actual victim. ‘She wants to ruin the man’s reputation’, is one of the more common reactions. ‘She probably tried to blackmail him and failed, now she wants revenge’, is another one I heard.
It is strange that the woman is almost never given the benefit of doubt, even from those that know nothing about her. Sheebah is a public figure, so almost everyone in Uganda has heard about her, but she still deserves that benefit of doubt.
What is it in the collective conscience of men that the default reaction to any woman that comes up with accusations of sexual harassment is that she has to be lying? It is definitely not a bro code kind of thing, or man code; it is more likely a kind of guilt, that maybe we have all engaged in harassment at one time or another, and if we let one woman believe she can get away with it, then we are all in trouble.
A few weeks ago I’d just started on my evening roadwork when a crying girl ran past me, and took cover in a nearby restaurant. A man came running after her, but we stopped him from getting to her. What was the story here? He claimed the girl, who looked underage, was his wife. That they had a small misunderstanding and she had run away. Why was she crying, then? That he had ‘touched’ her as a man. What did that mean? That he had slapped her, ‘only’ twice.
The staff at the restaurant decided that it was a ‘family’ matter, and that we should let the man take the girl home. We said no, and called the police, and the LC chairman. The girl did go to her relative’s home, but the man, who worked as a security guard nearby, ended up in a police cell.
It is astonishing that in this time and age, some men still treat women as second class citizens. What is even more shocking is that seemingly exposed and educated men still parrot that ‘she wants to ruin the man’s reputation’ line.
In Sheebah’s case, that came up in several WhatsApp groups I belong to. One recurring comment was that since she did not name the perpetrator, then she was lying. Name and shame, they cried. Otherwise ‘innocent’ men’s names were being dragged in the mud, they claimed. One dude loudly played the victim, called on the police to intervene, and accused Sheebah of staging a publicity stunt.
What was doubly disappointing is that some of these men had recently attended a workshop on sexual harassment, and the trauma that goes with it was clearly spelt out. It was pointed out, almost graphically, why most victims of harassment never go public.
But here they were, insisting that if Sheebah did not go public with the identity of her abuser, then ‘innocent’ men would suffer. Did they know who these innocent men could be? No, but there must be some, somewhere. One gave an example of the evil that women do, how a girl prefect in his Primary school had falsely accused him of some wrongdoing, and he got punished. Women do that all the time, he insisted.
It is really sad that in this time and age, victims of sexual harassment, the Sheebahs of this world, it is not a given that they will get justice. Really sad.
kalungikabuye 